Modern Mathematics

Modern Mathematics

Equation 1
Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Human = Donkey + work + enjoy
if, Human - enjoy = Donkey + work
In other words,
Human that don't know enjoy = Donkey that Work (Eqn 1)


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Equation 2
Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore, Men = Donkeys + earn money (Eqn 2)
If Men - earn money = Donkeys
In other words,
Men that don't earn money = Donkeys (Eqn 3)


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Equation 3
Women = eat + sleep + spend
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore, Women = Donkeys + spend (Eqn 4)
If, Women - spend = Donkeys
In other words,
Women that don't spend = Donkeys (Eqn 5)


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To Conclude:
From Eqn 3 and Eqn 5
Men that don't earn money = Women that don't spend
So,
Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys! (Postulate 1)
Women spend not to let men become Donkeys! (Postulate 2)
From Eqn 2 + Eqn 4, we have
Men + Women = Donkeys + earn money + Donkeys + spend
From Postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude
Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys
And the Donkeys live happily ever after!

PLZ DON'T MISTAKE ME (hope u all njoyyyyy)

Why Braindrain?

In a poor zoo of India, a lion was frustrated as he was
offered not more than 1 kg meat a day.
One day the lion thought it's prayers were answered when a US Zoo
Manager visited the zoo and requested the zoo
management to shift the lion to a US zoo.
The lion was pleased and started thinking of a central A/C
environment, a goat or two every day and a US Green Card .
On it's first day after arrival, the lion was offered a big bag,
sealed very nicely, for breakfast. It opened the bag quickly but was
shocked to see that it contained only a few bananas.
Controlling its anger, the lion thought that may be they cared too
much for him as they were worried about his stomach as
he had recently shifted from India. The next day the same thing
happened.
On the third day again the
same food bag of bananas was delivered. Now the lion was furious. It stopped the delivery boy and blasted
him, "Don't you know, I am the lion...King of the Jungle....What's
wrong with your management? What nonsense is this ? Why are you
delivering bananas to me ?"
The delivery boy politely said, "Sir, I know you are the King of the
Jungle but....do you know that you have been brought here on a
Monkey's visa!!!
Moral: Better to be a Lion in India than a Monkey elsewhere!!

Always allow your boss to speak First

A Junior Software engineer, a Senior Software engineer and their Project Manager are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each".
So the eager Junior Software engineer shouted, I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries. "Pfufffff" and he was gone. Now the Senior Software engineer could not keep quiet and shouted " I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails. "Pfufffff" and he was also gone. The Project Manager calmly said," I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 1.30pm"
Moral of the story is:
Always allow the boss to speak first..!

Tax structure in India - Funny but true!

TAX STRUCTURE IN INDIA

1) Qus. : What are you doing?
Ans. : Business.
Tax : PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!

2) Qus. : What are you doing in Business?
Ans. : Selling the Goods.
Tax : PAY SALES TAX!!

3) Qus. : From where are you getting Goods?
Ans. : From other State/Abroad
Tax : PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI!

4) Qus. : What are you getting in Selling Goods?
Ans. : Profit.
Tax : PAY INCOME TAX!

Qus. : How do you distribute profit ?
Ans : By way of dividend
Tax : Pay dividend distribution Tax

5) Qus. : Where you Manufacturing the Goods?
Ans. : Factory.
Tax : PAY EXCISE DUTY!

6) Qus. : Do you have Office / Warehouse/ Factory?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX!

7) Qus. : Do you have Staff?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX!

8) Qus. : Doing business in Millions?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY TURNOVER TAX!
Ans : No
Tax : Then pay Minimum Alternate Tax

9) Qus. : Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?
Ans. : Yes, for Salary.
Tax : PAY CASH HANDLING TAX!

10) Qus.: Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?
Ans. : Hotel
Tax : PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

11) Qus.: Are you going Out of Station for Business?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX!

12) Qus.: Have you taken or given any Service/s?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY SERVICE TAX!

13) Qus.: How come you got such a Big Amount?
Ans. : Gift on birthday.
Tax : PAY GIFT TAX!

14) Qus.: Do you have any Wealth?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY WEALTH TAX!

15) Qus.: To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?
Ans. : Cinema or Resort.
Tax : PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

16) Qus.: Have you purchased House?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE !

17) Qus.: How you Travel?
Ans. : Bus
Tax : PAY SURCHARGE!

18) Qus.: Any Additional Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL THE CENTRAL GOVT.'s TAX !!!

19) Qus.: Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY INTEREST & PENALTY!

20) INDIAN :: can i die now??
Ans :: wait we are about to launch the funeral tax!!!