The perfect boss !

There were about 70 scientists working on a

very hectic project. All of them were really

frustrated due to the pressure of work and the

demands of their boss but everyone was loyal

to him and did not think of quitting the job.


One day, one scientist came to his boss and told

him - Sir, I have promised to my children that I

will take them to the exhibition going on in our

township. So I want to leave the office at 5 30 pm.


His boss replied "OK, You're permitted to leave

the office early today"


The Scientist started working. He continued his

work after lunch. As usual he got involved to such

an extent that he looked at his watch when he felt

he was close to completion.The time was 8.30 PM.

Suddenly he remembered of the promise he had

given to his children. He looked for his boss, He

was not there. Having told him in the morning

itself, he closed everything and left for home. Deep

within himself, he was feeling guilty for having

disappointed his children.He reached home.

Children were not there. His wife alone was sitting

in the hall and reading magazines.

The situation was explosive, any talk would

boomerang on him. His wife asked him "Would you

like to have coffee or shall I straight away serve

dinner if you are hungry.

The man replied "If you would like to have coffee,

i too will have but what about Children ??"

Wife replied "You don't know ?? Your manager

came here at 5.15 PM and has taken the children

to the exhibition "



What had really happened was ...

The boss who granted him permission was

observing him working seriously at 5.00 PM.

He thought to himself, this person will not leave

the work, but if he has promised his children they

should enjoy the visit to exhibition.



So he took the lead in taking them to exhibition

The boss does not have to do it everytime. But

once it is done, loyalty is established.



That is why all the scientists at Thumba continued

to work under their boss eventhough the stress

was tremendous.



By the way , can you hazard a guess as to who the

boss was..?















He was none other than

Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam, Former-President of India . . ..


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No one is Flaw less

A water bearer in China had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which he
carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, while the other pot was perfect and always Delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the House, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments,Perfect for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was Ashamed of its own imperfection. And miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you. I have been able to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes Water to leak out all the way back to your house. Because of my Flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts," the pot said. The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw. So I
Planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house?

Moral: Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are, and look for the good in them. Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.
Remember to appreciate all the different people in your life.


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Management stories part-III

A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he

thought she might need a hearing aid.

Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to

discuss the problem.

The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could

perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away fromher,

and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears

you.

If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and s o on until you get a

response."

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he washing

the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what

happens."

Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?"

No response.

So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from

his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from

his wife and asks, Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again he gets no response so,

He walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's

for dinner?"

Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?"

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

"James, for the FIFTH time I've said, CHICKEN!"

Moral of the story:

The problem may not be with the other one as we always think,

could be very much within us..!


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Management stories : When one eye is fixed upon your destination, there is only one eye left with which to find the Way

A young boy traveled across Japan to the school of a famous martial artist. When he arrived at the dojo he was given an audience by the sensei.

“What do you wish from me?” the master asked.

“I wish to be your student and be the finest karateka in the land,” the boy replied. “How long must I study?”

“Ten years at least,” the master answered.

“Ten years is a long time,” said the boy. “What if I studied twice as hard as all your other students?”

“Twenty years,” replied the master.

“Twenty years! What if I practice day and night with all my effort?”

“Thirty years,” was the master’s reply.

“How is it that each time I say I will work harder, you tell me that it will take longer?” the boy asked.

“The answer is clear. When one eye is fixed upon your destination, there is only one eye left with which to find the Way.”

Source: Original source unknown, my source was the book Zen in the Martial Arts by Joe Hyams

Three stonecutters

One day a man came across 3 stonecutters working in a quarry. Each one was cutting out a block of stone. Curious as to what they were doing he asked the first stone cutter what he was doing. “What? Are you blind?” the stone cutter shouted, “Can’t you see, I’m cutting this stupid piece of stone.” Shocked but still no wiser the man turned to the second stonecutter and asked him what he was doing. “I am cutting this block of stone to make sure that it’s sides are straight and smooth so that the builder can build a straight wall.” Feeling a lot better but still not really any wiser the man turned to the third stonecutter, who seemed to be the happiest of the three, and asked him what he was doing. “I am building a cathedral,” the 3rd stonecutter replied.


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HOW TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY

It's not difficult to make a woman happy.
A man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Show up naked
2. Bring food
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My first time

EAST TO THE SEA,
WEST TO THE LAND,
DEATH TO THE BITCH
THAT TOUCHES MY MAN!

My First Time

The sky was dark
The moon was high
All alone
Just her and I
Her hair so soft
Her eyes so blue
I knew just what
She wanted to do
Her skin so soft
Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers
Down her spine
I didn't know how
But I tried my best
To place my hand
On her breasts
I remember my fear
My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart
And when she did it
I felt no shame
All at once
The white stuff came
At last it's finished
It's all over now
My first time
Milking a cow!


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An end for farting

THIS IS A STORY ABOUT A COUPLE WHO HAD BEEN HAPPILY MARRIED FOR YEARS.

THE ONLY FRICTION IN THEIR MARRIAGE WAS THE HUSBAND'S HABIT OF FARTING
LOUDLY EVERY MORNING WHEN HE AWOKE.
THE NOISE WOULD WAKE HIS WIFE AND

THE SMELL WOULD MAKE HER EYES WATER AND MAKE HER GASP FOR AIR.

EVERY MORNING SHE WOULD PLEAD WITH HIM TO STOP RIPPING THEM OFF
BECAUSE IT WAS MAKING HER SICK. HE TOLD HER HE COULDN'T.STOP IT AND
THAT IT WAS PERFECTLY NATURAL.
SHE TOLD HIM TO SEE A DOCTOR, SHE WAS CONCERNED THAT ONE DAY HE WOULD
BLOW HIS GUTS OUT.

THE YEARS WENT BY AND HE CONTINUED TO RIP THEM OUT.

THEN ONE
THANKSGIVING MORNING AS SHE WAS PREPARING THE TURKEY FOR DINNER AND HE> WAS UPSTAIRS SOUND ASLEEP, SHE LOOKED AT THE INNARDS AND NECK,
GIZZARD, LIVER AND ALL THE SPARE PARTS AND A MALICIOUS THOUGHT CAME TO
HER.

SHE TOOK THE BOWL AND WENT UPSTAIRS WHERE HER HUSBAND WAS SOUND ASLEEP
AND, GENTLY PULLING THE BED COVERS BACK, SHE PULLED BACK THE ELASTIC
WAISTBAND OF HIS UNDERPANTS AND EMPTIED THE BOWL OF TURKEY GUTS INTO
HIS SHORTS .

SOME TIME LATER SHE HEARD HER HUSBAND WAKEN WITH HIS USUAL TRUMPETING
WHICH WAS FOLLOWED BY A BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM AND THE SOUND OF FRANTIC
FOOT STEPS AS HE RAN INTO THE BATH ROOM. THE WIFE COULD HARDLY CONTROL
HERSELF AS SHE ROLLED ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING, TEARS IN HER EYES! AFTER
YEARS OF TORTURE SHE RECKONED SHE HAD GOT HIM BACK PRETT Y GOOD..

ABOUT TWENTY MINUTES LATER, HER HUSBAND CAME DOWNSTAIRS IN HIS
BLOODSTAINED UNDERPANTS WITH A LOOK OF HORROR ON HIS FACE. SHE BIT HER
LIP AS SHE ASKED HIM WHAT WAS THE MATTER.

HE SAID, "HONEY YOU WERE RIGHT." "ALL THESE YEARS YOU HAVE WARNED ME
AND I DIDN'T LISTEN TO YOU".

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" ASKED HIS WIFE.

"WELL, YOU ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT ONE DAY I WOULD END UP FARTING MY GUTS
OUT, AND TODAY IT FINALLY HAPPENED."

BUT WITH SOME VASELINE I THINK I GOT MOST OF THEM BACK IN."

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Idea

How does a light bulb know when it has an idea?


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You're next

When I was younger I hated going to weddings. It seemed that all of my aunts and the grandmotherly types used to come up to me, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, 'You're next.'They stopped doing that after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.