The Love of beans

Once there lived a woman who had a terrible passion for baked beans. She loved them but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on her. One day she met a man and they fell in love.

When it was apparent that they would marry she thought to himself, "He'll never go through with the marriage if I carry on like this."

So she made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Shortly after that they were married.

A few months later, on the way home from work, her car broke down. Since they lived in the country she telephoned her husband and told him that she would be late because she had to walk.

On her way home she passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed her. Since she still had several miles to walk the woman thought she would walk off any ill effects before she got home. So she went into the cafe and ordered three extra large helpings of beans.

All the way home she farted. By the time she arrived home she felt reasonably safe. Her husband met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited.

"Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for dinner tonight!" He exclaimed.

He then put a blindfold on his wife and led her to her chair at the head of the table and made her promise not to peek. At this point she was beginning to feel another fart coming on. The woman heard her husband enter the room and set something down on the table before he started to remove her blindfold. Just before he could remove it the telephone rang. He again made her promise not to peek until he returned and went off to answer the phone.

While he was gone his wife seized the opportunity. She shifted her weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud but ripe as a rotten egg. She had a hard time breathing so she felt for her napkin and fanned the air about her.

She had just started to feel better when another urge came on. This time she raised her leg and rrriiipppp! It sounded like a diesel engine reving and smelled even worse. To keep herself from gagging she tried fanning her arms a while hoping the smell would dissipate.

Things had just about returned to normal when she felt another urge coming. She shifted her weight to her other leg and let go. This was a real blue ribbon winner; the windows shook, the dishes on the table rattled and a minute later the flowers on the table were dead.
While keeping an ear tuned in on the conversation in the hallway and keeping her promise to staying blindfolded the wife carried on like this for the next 10 minutes. Continuous farting and then fanning each time with her napkin. When she heard the phone farewells she neatly laid her napkin on her lap and folded her hands on top of it.

Smiling contently, she was the picture of innocence when her husband walked in. Apologizing for taking so long he asked if he had peeked at the dinner table.

After assuring him she had not peeked, he removed the blindfold and yelled, "SURPRISE!" To her shock and horror there were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for her surprise birthday party.



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